Mad as Hell
by writerdude3000
Summary: RandR! See Hogwarts through someone elses eyes! the eyes on a bitter irish boy. Will he ever upstage the git, will he ever woo KIA and will the idiot ever stop being such an idiot? Find out this & more! R&R!


xX... ok, well, I'm trying this for a change. ENJOY! R&R! ...xX

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

So, I'm sitting in the common room, trying to mind my own beeswax over the noise, I mean- it's one of Gred and Feorges famous parties- on account of another quidditch win. The only reason I'm even sitting by the stupid arm chair by the stupid fire is on account of my best friend: Dean Thomas who, after being dumped by Ginny Weasley and BOTH Patil sisters is feeling pretty down and needy. So being the good friend I am, I agreed to go and humor him as he tries to pick up some needy 5th years. Or something. So, like I was saying- there I am, sitting by the fire, drinking a butter beer and eating a cookie and just staring off into space when Dean sits down, looking fiery.

"Dude. Melinda Enag. Look. Three O'clock."

I turn my head and look at the powder puffed little priss that stands by the mantle flirting shamelessly with a first year who looks like he's about to burst.

"Yeah?" I say, with disinterest.

"Well... Hot, right?"

I nod, hoping it convinces my sometimes thick as a skull roommate. It does. BINGO!

I'm in a bad mood on account of someone who has been putting me in bad moods since first year.

The pride of Hogwarts and the reason we are having this stupid party- your seeker and mine, Mr. Harry Potter (the great git).

All these years he's been the only one that matters- I mean, who cares if he saved us all from some snake in some secret chamber? I got all O's on my O.W.L! But does anyone ever notice that?

HELLS NO!

(I'm mad, mainly on account of him. Him and his friends: Hermione Granger the know-it-all and Ron Weasley the idiot who was just poor deprived Harry's first friend.)

Dean waltzes over like the King of Siam to talk to the whore and I notice that she's impressed by his... well, muggleness.

(I can ride a broomstick just as well as that little bugger!)

I see my friend take her by her ring adorned hand and lead her up the steps to our dormitory.

Well, I won't be going to bed anytime soon than...

(I'm brave TO!)

I look over at the idiot (Ronald) and KIA (pronounced NIA, Know-it-all... Granger). He's obviously trying to woo her. KIA is cute. Alright, KIA is beautiful.

(The Git could have her, right? Why can't I?)

KIA, who I'll now call Granger, is tall, with wavy blondish brown hair, sorta like mine. She's gorgeous. Idiot is trying his best. I can tell.

I finish my cookie and go and pat the Git on the back

(Like he needs any more people telling him he's great?)

and head up to the dorm, full prepared to face Dean and his toy. I push open the door and gasp. I only expected them to be snogging. Or something.

They're doing the nasty. And its messy let me tell you that!

I turn my head discreetly.

(I'm the MASTER of polite discretion, Harry? BEAT THAT!)

But unfortunately Dean looks up,

"Hullo, Mate!" he says cheerily as I hear something heavy bang against the head board.

"Yeah..." I trail off, heading towards my bed to get me... to get my... um, quill.

"Just getting me quill..." I say.

In between grunts and squeals I pick up the following from Dean,

"Right...O...Than...See...Ya...Later...Ma...Ma...Mater.OOH!"

Another bang on the headboard and a coupla legs shouting up later I'm gone and out- hoping to hell that I never witness that again. Granger and Idiot have now moved on to the food. Granger looks bored. Idiot looks desperate.

(No time like the present, eh Harry?)

"Oh! Hullo than!" I say, AFTER I've waltzed my little Irish ass up to the food table and just happened to split the two, I turn to Granger, "Hullo Hermione!" I turn to Idiot, "Pleasant day is it not, Ronald?" They nod. Granger looks thankful, Idiot looks fuming. I smile, grab an oatmeal raisin cookie and prepare to move away,

"I wouldn't go into the dorm right now, Ron," I say, discreetly enough to seem discreet but loud enough so Granger hears, "Dean and Melinda are busy. Well, more than busy- let's say they're pre occupied. In a nasty, borderline grotesque way! Later!"

I take the cookies and, feeling wonderfully light again, move away. Granger looks hesitant but follows.

"Shay... uh, thanks."

I sit down again in my chair and nod to her.

"But, as much as I appreciate it, I am seeing him. Right, than?" she says hesitantly. To me, it doesn't matter if he's banging her- it was just wonderful to say the Idiots expression.

"Oh- well, best of luck!" I get up and begin to move on, she grabs my arm,

"He's deathly boring!" she says, half whispering half saying in a panicked squeal. I turn to the Idiot who is talking with Harry

(about Quidditch, than you git?)

I turn around,

"Well, Miss Granger- I DO hope that you resolve ALL prenuptial strife!"

I turn to go again when she grabs my elbow again, on account of...um...

"TAAKE ME!" she says in a hussy voice. I blink,

"Yeah...right, see you around." she's says and leaves.

I look at the bottle of butter beer I'm grasping, tip my imaginary hat to it and take a huge gulp.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The Great Hall is near empty when I enter. Hogwarts is empty on account of Winter Holiday. Must everyone is gone except for Harry

(Surprise Surprise! Mr. Deprived!)

Idiot, Granger,Dean, the Patil's, and a couple of older students. Gred and Feorge among them. I enter the Hall. Dean isn't there. Git and his trio are there, so is the G and F and that gorgeous Angelina chick. I choose the Gred and Feorge table.

"Hey Shay." Gred nods to me as I sit down and take out my composition notebook which I have on account of a potions essay.

(FAIL HIM SNAPE! FAIL HIM!)

I pull out my lucky quill and begin writing, looking up every so often to see what Gred and Feorge and Angelina are doing. Joking and Talking and what the Trio is doing. Talking in hushed whisper. Surprise surprise.

As I jot down:

the bezoar is a fascinating-

I stop and look over at what I've written:

the bezoar is a fascinating git.

I take out my wand and tape the parchment, it disappears. I try again to same results. I'm about ready to sucker punch Angelina when it hits me like a ton of bricks.

An inner voice speaks to me,

_Stop bitching ya little crack whore!_

I blink. What?

_That's right ya fairy!_

I most certainly am not; I take a look at Angelina to make sure. Pause. Yup,straight as a pin.

_Ya gotta stop brooding about how much ya hate the git!_

Hate who? ME? Hate someone? Chuckle.

(WHO HARRY? Who do I hate and loathe and wish were... well, you get it)

_Ya gotta capture world attention! Show the whole fooking school whose boss!_

Great. An inner voice from the North. "Fook" it.

_Do something they'll never. NEVER. forget._

And with a poof I feel it leave me.

Now by this time I'm scared because I've written some revealing things on my parchment and Angelina's looking over at it to see what I've done. I quickly shove it back into my bag. She smiles,

"You alright, Seamus? You seem a bit out of it." she says.

I nod.

"I'm too old for ya, chappie," she smiles, clucks her tongue and winks at me before turning back to her conversation with F and G.

I look at the parchment.

Shay Heart Angelina 4Eva.

I turn bright red and turn to say something to her when I decide it's NOT the best course of action. The worst one probably. I look over at Granger who is storming out of the Hall. Idiot following her.

"Hermione! Please! Don't loose your head!"

she turns to face him and I see the smoke pouring out of her ears. The hypothetical smoke, right?

"Don't 'loose-your-head' me! You leave me alone!"

I can't help feel a little sorry for Git right now, as I watch him burry his head in his hands. His trio broken by false romance.

(You happy now? All you readers who love Harry?)

She turns to go, pulls out her wand and mutters something incomprehensible. I turn my head but when I look again, she's gone and he's a... a toad. McGonagall is looking very happy! I hear her lean over to Flitwick and say,

"Did you see that? She just did a perfect human-animal transfiguration! No one has done it at all this year!"

Flitwick nods and laughs gleefully, the begin swapping Granger perfection stories.

Frustrated. I put away my notebook and head back to the dormitory. Only to be stopped by Idiot, who is now back in a human form,

"Where do you think YOU'RE GOING?" he sneers. Mock fierceness in his voice.

You've got to be kidding me.

"The dorm. I need to get my Potions notes and send a letter. Satisfied?"

He obviously can't think of anything else to say to this but he points his taped together wand at me 'threatingly'

"You go NEAR her and I'll blow your brains out ya fag! Ya hear me?"

I nod,

"Wouldn't dream of it."

He storms past me in mock 'huff' and I proceed to the dormitory with fully honorable intentions of taking a nap and sending a letter but when a fellow Gryffindor is lying on the sofa sobbing, I have to tend to her.

"Whassa matter?" I say, sitting down next to Granger who wipes a tear from her un make-uped face. Brilliant.

"Oh, nothing." she snivels.

I should have just left it there, but No-o-o-o. I'm way too good of a citizen to do that.

"There there," I pat her on the back, "he's just love struck, don't worry..."

I realize that I'm not helping.

(I rarely do)

xX... WELL? ENJOY? REVIEW! I DONT CARE IF YA HATED IT! REVIEW! ...xX


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